:Sigh: I don’t know where to start…but have you ever just felt like running away?! Ohmygawdi’msotired!!! This isn’t going to be one of those posts that ends with a moral, or a smile, or a “but life is great” take-away. No, this is going to be pretty monotonous straight through.
I am so overwhelmed with this ONE child that I have. Don’t get me wrong; he is soo cute, and hilarious, and takes up most of the love in my heart. He is a beautiful blessing, blah blah blah, I’ve said it all before, but he is more work than I feel I can handle! I can take the climbing on the couch, in drawers, knocking over cups of water, throwing everything in sight, using his plate of food as a frisbee, constant stank poos, tantrums when all of the orange, or raspberries, or grapes are eaten, because that’s what babies do. They destroy, poop, cry and eat. But what I can’t take are the daily battles( 2-3 times per day) for sleep. I’msoexhaustedIcan’tbreath!!!
You’ve seen my posts on facebook, you’ve probably gotten a frantic email/text/facebook message asking you for advice on how to
tame my monster soothe my cherub to sleep, but GOT-DOGGIT (that’s Black talk right there), nothing works! I am was am against Cry It Out Methods for Chi. I see how it works for some babies and hell, if I am ever drunk enough blessed to have another baby, I will seriously consider it. At around 10 months after battling with Malachi at naps, bedtime (pretty much exactly what we’re still doing at 13 months), our pediatrician suggested that we give it a try. We did. We were successful at first. But instead of getting progressively easier (baby cries for 15 minutes, then 10 minutes, then 5, then,baby magically puts themselves to sleep!) this mutant baby got progressively worse. A lot worse. My instincts told me that something was off, so after talking to the doctor, she suggested we stop, and assumed that he was at the peak of separation anxiety. She suggested we start again after 12 months.
Is this even coherent? Look, the point is…ain’t nothing working and I feel like my emotional ish is about to hit the fan. I can’t imagine having another baby (I used to want such a big family!) .I am emotionally and physically drained! Although Chi’s night sleep has gotten much better (wakes only 3x/night), I’m still rocking him for naps until drowsy, which can take a minute, then he wakes 30-45 minutes later still very tired but refusing to sleep. The afternoon nap is even worse. Usually I have no choice but to let him cry for 10+minutes because he pretends to be full of energy as soon as I place him in his crib, so I leave. When I come back he finally submits and falls asleep. Only to wake 30-45 minutes later.
- read every book
- watched every sleepy cue
- put him on a schedule
- changed the schedule
- went back to the schedule
- read every sleep article on the net
- watched every sleep video
- hired a sleep doula
- anointed him and his room
- prayed like crazy
- begged him to sleep
- locked myself in the closet
danced for the sleep gods
- binged on ice cream
- had several pity parties
- researched tubal ligation vs. vasectomy (I’m NOT repeating THIS ordeal) (i’m not joking. This will soon be a serious post in my ‘Marriage’ category)
Please, please, please help me. I am so in need of prayer, encouragement, stories of how awful your babies were. Please don’t tell me about your angel baby who slept through the night in the womb (whatever that means). I want to hear about AWFUL babies…to make me feel better :hangs head:
And, I apologize if you’ve seen me out in public in the past few weeks. I looked at myself in the mirror yesterday and damn near cried.
I just want to run away. Real talk.