Baby Mama Drama Pt. 1

*The first in a series of drama for the mama

“At first I thought I was trippin’, but my vision gettin’ clearer. You movin that thang around as if you practice in the mirror…”

:Sigh, as inappropriate as this song is, it is often what I think of when I walk down the stairs. Or up the stairs. Or when I  try to squeeze my new hips into my size 1 skinny jeans. Let’s just say I stretched the skinny out of those suckers.

Things are just moving around without my consent.

There are a lot of changes that you experience as a new mom. For starters, after having your hoo-ha seen, and examined on a very regular basis during pregnancy, and then, well, giving birth, there is a newfound appreciation for your body. It’s like, Gumby, and you’re frickin happy that God designed us to…err..snap back if you will.

And so while I am appreciating my mother’s body, I am confused as to what to do with alla this. I gained 45 pounds total during my pregnancy. 4 months later, I have lost 37 of those pounds. Even though that’s the bulk of my weight, somethin’ just ain’t right. For starters, my feet. My second toe is almost as long as my first toe. This was never the case! It was always a curled up shrimp of a thing. Now, it’s long, and it scares me. I think this will really affect my dancing (whenever I get my behind back to the studio).

Secondly, there are these hips. Where. the heck. did these come from? Ah yes…my pelvis did have to expand to let a baby out. I had no idea that I would gain hips and that they were here to stay! I’ve always wanted hips. It’s just that I’d already mourned my lack of hips and other things womanly during high school when everyone else got their boobs (and boob jobs…I’m from Miami), and I was left looking for a grown up training bra. But here they are. Hips! After I’ve already established a winning wardrobe!

I won’t even talk about the obvious change for me, but, the not so expected, has been my ribcage. Yes. My ribcage has expanded by 2 inches. I’ve checked. Over and over and over again. Sigh. Nobody told me.

At about 3 months postpartum, I started noticing that my hair was very interested in the floor as opposed to my body. Out it came everytime I touched it. But that was expected. I did know that I would shed like a fake fur after its’ first wash. What I didn’t know, was that it would disappear. LIke literally, frikin bald spots. 3 of them. I cried when I realized that I couldn’t hide my male pattern baldness any longer from Matt. He hugged me and assured me that it would grow back and that I was still beautiful. I’m sure that was just a ploy to make me reciprocate the kind words in 20 years or so. Just joking…maybe. lol

My thighs are bigger. My back is achier. My feet are tender in the mornings. And I’ve got stretch marks to prove that I sustained life in my belly. Although I’m trying to re-learn my body, trying to understand what it likes to be adorned with now, and appreciate the seemingly huge difference, it is all a very small price to pay for the priceless gift of motherhood.

2 Responses to “Baby Mama Drama Pt. 1”

Leave a Reply

  • (will not be published)

XHTML: You can use these tags: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <s> <strike> <strong>